My Mycelium Journey

I can't imagine having to create a reality for a partner such that they always look good, especially when they are nothing short of pure evil.  Constantly reassuring them, even when you probably shouldn't be. Having to re-direct conversations so they are always the center of attention.  Hiding anything that might piss them off as an indication they aren't perfect. Letting it roll off your shoulders when they yell and scream at you in the most disrespectful of ways in front of all your friends. What do you say to a friend when they call out your spouse for treating you like shit? Everyone notices but you are still trying to make this look normal, so she doesn't feel bad. It's all about her. It has to be all about her or there will be hell to pay. How does that help a feedback loop for improvement?  I get told not to make excuses, but so many excuses were made for her terrible behavior.  Your daughter isn't even allowed in your house, and you just go with it? You ...

Stomach agony after 3 bites of food. Lips are peeling and starting to bleed. hurts just to take food off the fork. Hospice nurse says that gets worse until you start choking because you can't swallow. He has the meds ready for when he gets there, but how much is that actually going to help? Miserable and terrified. I guess that is how it ends for all of us.  Why Can't there be a better option for people? Pets don't even have to suffer this much.  He's 70, the government would have preferred he worked up until 3 years ago. Can you imagine? you finally get out of work and then 3 years later... why work? Will I even get to see him when I'm there in 10 days? Spent a fortune mailing grapefruit but sounds like he won't be able to eat that from all the acid on hurt lips. Also got him a local honey with pecans in it from Texas. That would have been his favorite under normal circumstances...  I really just wanted to sit in the room and be bored with him. Just think up id...