Red Flags

Lack of action is a decision.

Control issues

Pissed he bought car with his money 

Pissed he went on vacation with his daughter (she was invited)

Was upset about something I wore to her event, not thankful i showed up at all (why the fuck did i go?!)

Has 3 ex-husbands

SHE DIDN'T WANT KIDS - ESPECIALLY YOUR KID!

Dad hate horses, she got horses.

didn't want to have dogs, she trains her dogs to be aggressive and wants large dogs

Is unable to play games, because her sisters would win at games when she was a young child. Dad's life and main hobby is pinball. that is technically a game. She hates pinball. 

is unable to enjoy anything if it isn't about her

I'm not sure she enjoys anything. quite miserable to be around

She can't figure out how to work a TV remote 

hates so much. It's not just me! Friends drink too much of her wine and don't share, sometimes the topics aren't centered around terrible enough, etc.

Alcoholic

Mean

Demands help and immediate attention as a means of control 

Called him away from talking to his pinball idol because she was jealous he wasn't paying attention to her that second. She didn't have anything important, just didn't want him to enjoy himself. 

drunk dinners are bunt

Is angry at a dying man for dying....

Kept a daughter and dying father apart, breaking both of their hearts at the same time.

Just a few examples of what I've seen. I know it's worse on the front lines. he's alluded to this too, unfortunately. Now he thinks there's not much point in couples therapy (not that there would have been, when Dad get's to this point it is beyond obvious to anyone that he's being abused and therapist would advise to leave her. same thing happened with mom).